The Drudgeon reviews Vampire Hunter D

Vampire Hunter Daka Vampire Hunter D – Bloodlust
102 min., 2000
Written by (English Version) Ellen Moore/Jack Fletcher
Directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri
Language: English
My rating: ★★★

Anime! Vampires! Pretty colors! Oh my!

* * *

When you pack so many different types of genres into one movie, it usually sucks for all of the fans. This movie is a prime example of how all genres suffer from too many being in one movie. You have a horror/sci-fi/western/comedy (that damn hand)/post-apocalyptic/drama/action…oh, do I need to go on? All of this packaged into an anime. With this movie having so many different elements going on at once it’s hard to enjoy any of them fully. Each genre is only on screen for about twenty seconds, and it really sucks. This strikes the first blow at this movie.

The voice acting and dialogue were LAME! The voice actors are tolerable at their best and knife in the throat at their worst. The dialogue is some of the longest and most drawn out I think I have ever witnessed in one movie. All they do is talk, most of the time in monotone, about nothing over and over again. Then there’s the hand. Ohhhh, that hand. I wish D would’ve just sat on it for most of the movie. Then I might have enjoyed a few moments of silence. Strike Two!

The two main characters (D and Leila) were both the “my life sucks and I won’t get close to anyone” types. One character like that is fine, but two? Nope. Just a lot of sad faces and people feeling bad for themselves. There should be one “life sucks” and “one life is okay,” so they could play off of each other. Not just sit and compare note on how much worse they have it from everyone else. The other characters, the Barbarois, the Marcus Brothers, and even Baron Meier Link, seemed to be overlooked way too much. I really wanted to know why the Brothers are doing this. Money? Fame? Revenge? Bored? Also, are they really brothers or is it a cool sounding name? The Barbarois are really there for villians but more about them would have been nice. The Baron and Charlotte got very little coverage as well, when the Baron is the vampire that D is hunting. You learn more about Carmilla than most of the others and she is only on screen for maybe five minutes. Mark three.

Four and five go to the hand!!!!! Damn that hand!!!

Anime is known for good character development, beautiful art and great (I mean GREAT) fight scenes. What the fuck happened with this movie???? The fights lasted mere seconds.  Seconds, damnit!!! There were so many great fights to be had. Mashira versus D: not even a fight; Benge versus the Brothers: longer, but not really a fight; Caroline versus the Brothers and D: no real complaints, except the death; and the Baron versus D: really? Really? Really? It was a fight that would have been awesome except that it kept cutting away. Dropping the ball on this one really hurts.

This is coming from the man who brought us Wicked City, Demon City Shinjuku and Ninja Scroll. Fucking Ninja Scroll!!!! One of the best anime EVER!!!! Something went wrong.

One last thing. NO Japanese language version?? What happened??? That is unacceptable!!

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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2 Responses to The Drudgeon reviews Vampire Hunter D

  1. Lackey says:

    So Bloodlust was “the most anticipated animated event of the year”—meaning 2001, the year that it was released in the U.S., huh? So more people were really looking forward to it than were looking forward to Jimmy Neutron, Shrek, Monsters Inc. and Spirited Away?

    Anybody else find that highly unlikely?

  2. Douche McDouche says:

    You know, I wish he sat on his hand, too. He’s probably the only guy in the world who could give himself a rim job.

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