The Drudgeon reviews Phantasm

Phantasm 89 min., 1979
Written by Don Coscarelli
Directed by Don Coscarelli
Language: English
My rating: ★★★★

There once was a tall man from Morningside with silver balls made of steel…

* * *

I really can’t stand the sort of people that whine about needing to know every little thing that is going on in a movie. The movie ends and they are complaining that they don’t get it and not everything was explained or say that the plot was just crap cause it didn’t make any since. Are people really that stupid that everything needs to shown in bold print? Do people really need their hand held during a movie?  With those questions asked it brings me to Phantasm, a movie that leaves questions in your mind after it over about what was really going on. I tend to really love these types of movies.

Most of the characters in the movie are pretty lame. Michael is the little brother that really likes to follow his brother around with the fear that he is going to leave him. It’s kinda creepy. His older brother Jody is the very basic character type. The go-getter and always the one with a plan. You have a fortune teller who is the quiet type and is very mysterious and her daughter who is going to get into deep shit. Lastly there is Reggie, the balding, guitar-playing ice cream man. That is really all you have to say about Reggie. There is also the Cuda, a really cool car that also seems like a main character.

The Tall Man is the villain and he is never shown to be otherwise…unlike nowadays, where you have to feel for the bad guy of a movie. No, he is just pure evil, through and through. Also he is played the best. The few lines that are spoken and the facial expressions that are used are done so well that he really steals the show. He also has a bunch of little midget monks running around doing his bidding, and they sound really nasty too. The other character at the Tall Man’s beck and call is the Ball. A silver ball of bad-assery with blades and a drill for the purpose of going into someone’s brain. Fucking cool!

The effects are still quite nice by today’s standards, except for maybe just a few. The ball effects are still really cool. The drilling and blood gush, awesome. The finger is still good, but the hand in the door isn’t so good. Also the fake rocks aren’t so hot.

The story is one of the best parts of the movie. There are tons of questions about what the fuck is going on. Lots are answered and some aren’t. That is what makes me want to rewatch. Did I miss something? Did I blink at the wrong time? Are they just not telling me? I love it when a movie makes me question what I just watched. This one does it.

A really tall man, killer balls (ha ha), killer midget monks, a bad-ass Cuda, and a wiggling finger really make for a fun and over the top fucked up movie.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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2 Responses to The Drudgeon reviews Phantasm

  1. John Bruni says:

    These PHANTASM reviews need more “balls” double entendres (and maybe a few single entendres).

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