85 min., 2009
Written by Paul Solet
Directed by Paul Solet
My rating: ★★
It’s like being at Denny’s and there is a baby crying throughout your meal.
* * *
We begin with Michael and Madeline trying to have a baby. They succeed and have a nice dinner with Michael’s mother, Vivian. Vivian has worries about the Madeline’s diet (vegan) and that she wants to go to a midwife and not a normal doctor. Later, Madeline has chest pains and is takes to the hospital, where the “evil” doctors want to induce labor. Patricia (Madeline’s old lover and midwife) makes the scene and challenges the doc, and it turns out she is right, it’s only a stone. After Madeline gets better, they drive home and bang, boom, a car crash that kills Michael and the unborn child.
Instead of getting rid of the dead baby, she decides to go full term with it and give birth to it. It is born and starts to move. It’s Alive! Now the baby needs to feed on blood instead of milk. What will Madeline do now?
Let’s start with the story. A baby that needs to feed on blood to live isn’t a new concept, but I did like how the baby was dead before it started to feed. It’s a nice touch that begs the question: is the baby a zombie? Most of the time when there are zombie babies, they are almost always goofy, but this one is really trying to take the real angle. Does it work? Yes, I guess it does, because besides the necessity for blood and the fact it being born dead, it’s pretty much a normal baby. Overall the baby really takes a backseat to Madeline and the way that she deals with everything that going on. Grace (the baby) really isn’t the focal point of the movie; it’s Madeline, which is understandable.
Mother and baby connections is really the main focus of the movie. How much is a mother willing to go through to help/save her baby’s life? She is willing to cause herself pain (and blood loss) to help her baby, and we have her (a vegan) even trying animal blood to help her child, which to some is an extreme. The movie really tries to hit home this feel, and it actually does succeed. Even if it’s through some really over-the-top methods.
The crying, oh the crying! Now, I understand that a baby cries and that they were trying to push the extra stress that it puts on a parent, but holy shit. Most of the movie is a baby crying, and crying and Crying and CRYing and CRYING. Okay, I get it. Babies cry. I have a feeling that most parents have gone through the crying and don’t want to sit through a movie that’s nothing but.
The acting is extremely bad, with almost everyone is trying way too hard to deliver even the most simple line. It gets annoying that anytime someone is speaking, they have to use their whole face to try and convey their emotion, even if there is none involved. Stop trying so hard and you may come off as real people, which would have been nice every once and a while.
Special effects in this movie are, for the most part, okay. There is only one really nice effect, it’s the effect that the baby has on Madeline’s nipple. Overall it looks quite believable and makes you feel some pain for her. Ouch!
On the flip side, pretty much every other effect is just plan lame. From the baby feeding to the CG flies (which I state again, why use CG for flies?) they’re all just terrible.
Maybe this is just a movie that’s trying to tell people not have babies. They cry all the fucking time, nonstop, and they will try to suck the very life from you. If I was planning on having a child anytime soon, well, this movie ripped that thought from my head.
Good story, bad acting, okay effects, a strong message against the evil of doctors, and a baby that just won’t stop crying (pretty much the whole movie) makes for a really bad movie on all fronts. Stay away unless you are in a mood for punishing yourself or just wanting to see a grandmother’s boobs.
Michael: “Did you hear that?” Pop! Ha ha ha dead!
Unnamed Doctor (said to the doctor while standing over the patient): “Are you slumming it today?”