87 min., 1985
Written by David Chaskin
Directed by Jack Sholder
My rating: ★
Why Freddy, why?
* * *
We pick up about five years after the original. We have kids on a bus and then Freddy appears! But it’s just a dream; so we move to the new family living at Nancy’s old house, welcome the Walshes. We have the happy dad and mom, the annoying sister, and our “hero” (?) Jesse. He has a girlfriend, Lisa. He also seems to have a boyfriend, Ron. Well weird shit begins happening at home and the culprit turns out to be Freddy. He’s trying to take over Jesse and get him to do evil things, so Freddy does stuff around Jesse’s house to make him snap. Freddy does really evil things like turn up the heat and blow up hot dogs. Okay????? There is also a very homoerotic scene (actually most of the movie is a homoerotic scene) that involves a coach getting hit with his own balls, then getting stripped naked and then gets whipped by some towels. Leaving us with a really bad end that really just tosses a bucket of shit on the first movie. Good job guys.
I’ll just start with the acting, it sucks. It sucks harder than most movies in existence. The way that they do their dialogue and the way they even move are so terrible that it’s really hard to watch. Robert does a good job, but even he seems to not be trying as hard as he could. Like he didn’t agree with what he was saying.
The effects are just as bad (for the most part) as the acting, everything from the exploding bird to the peeling off of skin is just bottom of the barrel crap. No good effects to be seen here, move along, move along.
The characters are some of the most confusing I’ve ever seen. You have Jesse the main character that’s supposed to be with Lisa, but he is always “flirting” with Ron. I don’t know if it was intentional, but that sure is how it came off. You really don’t run to your male friend’s house crying, leaving behind your girlfriend, and wanting to sleep at his place, if you don’t have a deeper connection than just friends. I have no problem with anyone being gay, but they should really make it clear whose pants he’s really trying to get into. It really throws off the flow of the connection between Jesse and Lisa. Then there is Ron the jock, who is consistently picking on Jesse, and it seems to not be friendly jabs, but full on “I really dislike you.” Then he turns around and is buddy-buddy with him. Odd. Almost like the boys that picked on girls in grade school to show that they liked them. Strange character relations lead to strange and unclear character interactions.
I did like how, instead of it being a woman that is always screaming, it is a male that is screaming for daddy. Not much of a bonus, but definitely worth mentioning.
The only other thing worth talking about is the fact that they bring Freddy into the real world. In the first it was because Nancy pulled him in to kill and finish him off, but now he is trying to come in through Jesse (yes, literally). Being stuck in the environment of a dream and not having any control over what happens helps to heighten the scares, but this one really takes away from the creepy feel (that even sleep is not a safe haven) and leaves a big hollow spot in the scares.
Bad plot—check, bad acting—check, bad effects—check, bad dialogue—check, bad everything else—check, and that gives us a Grade A piece of shit with a nice scoop of shit on top. Exploding hot dogs!!!! Really!!!!!
Freddy: “You are all my children now.”
Jesse: “No……………………………………(insert 3 minute pause)……………………………………….I don’t know”