The Drudgeon reviews My Bloody Valentine

My Bloody Valentine 93 min., 1981
Written by Stephen Miller/John Beaird
Directed by George Mihalka
Language: English
My rating: ★★★★

No not the lame band, something that’s actually fun to watch.

* * *

This movie is about a bunch of no name teens in a no name town with a no name killer who runs around and kills everybody he comes across. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, this is standard slasher material, but the back-story is actually pretty cool. You see, in the town of Valentine Bluffs, four miners died because a foreman left them in the mine to go to a Valentine’s Day party. While down there one of the five miners, Harry Warden, that was down there ate the other four. He was caught and he went mad. A year later he escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground…Sorry, I had to. No he escaped and killed the foreman that left them there, by cutting out his heart. He let everybody know that this will continue if they keep on celebrating Valentine’s Day.  Now we jump to the present day where they have decided to start up V-Day again. Dumbasses!

The acting is just that, acting. No one is really trying too hard and most are just trying to get through the day to collect their paychecks, so the acting is just okay, at it’s best.

Now the effects are where the movie truly shines. The gore is taken about as far as it could go at the time and it’s done pretty well. The kills are inventive and are pulled off with a dirty flair that really makes you want to see who and how the killer is going to kill next. Tons of fun to watch and top-notch work on most of the gore.

One of my gripes is with the actual film elements themselves. When the movie was released, they cut out almost all the gore, but with the release of DVDs they decided to put it back in. Great right? Kinda. They cleaned up all of the film except the extra gore that they put back in, so when you get to a kill, the film gets kinda grainy and the color is darker by comparison. I get what they were trying to do, but a lot of the time it can really take you out of what’s going on. Not a great move on their part.

So this might be standard slasher stuff, but it doesn’t make it bad. You can pretty much tell who is going to live and who will die, and when the kills are coming, but if you watch enough of any genre you can tell when all the “milestones” are coming. Most people watch slasher movies just to see people die and you get that in this movie, without question. Fun, gory and pretty inventive with the kills, albeit a quite predictable movie, but still a whole lot of fun to watch.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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2 Responses to The Drudgeon reviews My Bloody Valentine

  1. Lackey says:

    I caught a typo in the tag. “Awesome” is spelled “A-W-E-S-O-M-E,” not “L-A-M-E,” so the tag should read “No not the awesome band.” You’re welcome.

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