The Child’s Eye [reviewed by the Drudgeon]

The Child's Eyeaka Tong Yan
97 min., 2010
Directed by Oxide Pang Chun & Danny Pang
Language: Cantonese (English subtitles available)
My rating: Zero Stars (The Skull)
IMDB

What the hell went wrong?  Oh I know!  Fucking 3-D!

* * *

Six friends, Rainie (Rainie Yang) and her boyfriend Lok (Shawn Yue), Ling (Elanne Kwong) and her brother Rex (Rex Ho) and Hei (Izz Xu) and his girlfriend Ciwi (Ciwi Lam) are vacationing in Thailand when shit starts to go badly (and I’m not just talking about the movie).  The people of Thailand are fighting back causing airports and hotels to close.  They are on the way to the airport to “escape” when they find out that it’s closed, and then they are taken to a hotel by the cab driver.  The new hotel is pretty disgusting with stains on the sheets and roaches filling the rooms.  While there they meet three kids and their dog, which keeps staring at them.  Rainie jumps to the conclusion that there is something strange going on and that’s when the three boys start to act weird and then they disappear.

So the acting is really the only high point of the movie.  Rainie Yang is pretty good, but after about ten minutes you just don’t care about her or any of the others.  All of the characters are bland and completely boring, with none of them connecting in anyway with the audience.  You need at least a little of that, wanting them to die or wanting them to live is something that you should feel, and here you just don’t.

FLYING CHAIR!!!!!!!  CG COCKROACHES FLYING AT YOU!!!!!  Yep that’s exactly what the effects are in this movie.  It’s in 3-D and they really make that obvious.  Now I didn’t watch it in 3-D because I’m not fucking rich and I know that that hinders how good the movie is going feel, but that’s the trade off when you bring a 3-D movie to standard DVD.  It comes off looking very silly.  All of the effects that are going to be flying at you are waaaaaaaaaaaay to obvious.  Being a lighter color and looking very cartoony they just poke you in the eyes and say GET READY!  At least the older 3-D didn’t look this obvious (well most of the times…okay some of the time).  Now the ghost effects are okay and don’t look as silly as the 3-D, but I do have one question.  Do the Chinese believe that ghosts are that strange green color?  I remember when they tried to colorize Night Of The Living Dead and the zombies were just a strange green color that looked terrible.  I’m just wondering if that is how they believe ghosts look like.

Overall this was a terrible experience.  Okay acting that just wasn’t memorable, effects that (almost literally) attack you with their “awesomeness” and a really bland and boring story.  After the last one, that was a wonderful surprise, this one drops below even the second one.  At least that one had some good effects and a pretty good reveal.  This one has none of that and leaves you believing that they just did this to cash in on the 3-D craze that is going on right now.  Lame movie through out and not worth anyone’s time.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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