The Drudgeon reviews FearDotCom

FearDotComaka, Fear Dot Com
101 min., 2002
Written by Josephine Coyle/Holly Payberg-Torroija
Directed by William Malone
Language: English
My rating: ★

How a really bad rip-off is truly made!

* * *

The movie begins with a man, later named Polidori (Udo Kier), is in a subway when he sees a little white haired girl playing with a white ball on the tracks.  He yells no, and goes to, what appears to save her.  She then disappears and a train hits him but before he dies he sees the little girl again and then she morphs into another woman.  We then meet Terry Huston (Natascha McElhone) as she wakes up and is called to work.  We quickly switch to Detective Mike Reilly (Stephen Dorff) who is on the scene of the accident, the same that Terry is called to, and is wondering about the book in his hand (because at a scene of someone getting hit by a train, that’s what should stick out).  Back at the station a German speaking teen comes in shouting things and what appears to be bleeding from the eyes.  They, Mike and Terry, go to his place and find a tape which reveals the teen going to a website.  As more people die the site becomes the focal point of the investigation.

Normally I go into the acting and the effects, but I’m going to skip them for the most part because of all the stupid things that happen in this movie.  The acting was adequate with Jeffrey Combs being the best and everyone else being okay and the effects were a shit storm of fucking terrible!

Holy Shit!  What the fuck did I just watch?  There are about a hundred questions about what went on in the movie, and I’m not talking about the overall plot, which was just a rip-off of the Ringu series.  Most are nitpicks but I still want some answers.  First, does nobody clean up after themselves?  Yes it’s petty but when Terry finds a dead rat in her slipper she just tosses it to the side and when Denise squishes the cockroach, she just walks away.  Clean up after yourselves people, it’s disgusting!  Second, what the fuck is up with the MTV editing?  I though that the Saw series had some quick editing, but this one takes the cake, it has more than all the Saw movies together.  Caution to all the epileptics out there!  C, what was the reason for them going to the German teen’s apartment?  Do these cops have nothing better to do than go to any house of a yelling teen that walks through the door?  If you bring the eyes into the equation, that still doesn’t make much sense.  That’s not enough to cause the police to pull up to a house/condo with sirens wailing and guns drawn.  4, why does everyone on the fucking planet have the same desktop?  I mean everyone seems to have this desktop and search engine and that’s just lazy film making.  Now this could be minor and something that wouldn’t bother me, but this screen is introduced when Denise is taking three fried hard drives and trying to retrieve some data from them, so it has a screen with the three hard drives are flipping through the files/site names (pretty high tech, because getting information retrieved from a trashed drive can be up to 2000 dollars).  But after this, everyone has the same screen (the three hard drive searching, the background, etc.), I just think it’s very lazy.  Fifth, why would you let a child that’s a hemophiliac play at an abandoned steel mill?  I hope I don’t have to go into more of that.  Next, why is Terry not immediately affected by the site?  Everyone else seems to be affected right off the bat, but she barely gets any effect.  Next again, how many days pass in this movie?  It has no sense of time with people seeming to die the next day when people are supposed to die 48 hours later.  Fourth, this one is more of a personal nitpick than anything else.  Why does the German teen’s video always go to static after each shot?  The only reason why that would happen is if they fast-forwarded after each shot.  When you stop recording the tape stops and when you start recording it starts, it doesn’t go forward after you press stop.  Lastly, with this one it’s not a nitpick it’s one of the main reasons why I hated this movie.  Why did they have to rip-off the Ringu series so blatantly?  It’s sad when a movie comes out like this and steals a bunch of ideas from a different film, hell films/books/manga ‘cause there are elements of Uzumaki and Pulse flowing throughout this movie, and try to pass it off as their own “original” idea.  The only thing that’s really good about the movie is the exterior locations, with them looking great.  Other than that this is a shit bomb of epic proportions.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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5 Responses to The Drudgeon reviews FearDotCom

  1. mouse says:

    There was one scene in this movie I thought was really well done. I think it was near the end. If I recall correctly, at the time it made me think of Blair Witch Project: once 5-10 minute scene that was actually fairly tense amidst a whole lot of mediocre. But I love the Dorf so I watched it anyway.

    • Lackey says:

      I fully admit that, by any objective metric, it’s a terrible film, and I understand why people hate it. But I like it anyway. I like the location work. I like the cast. I like the atmosphere–I found it genuinely disturbing, creepy and scary in a number of places, and to me that goes a long way towards offsetting a lot of flaws.

      • mouse says:

        Yeah there were some spots where the MTV editing really worked for them on the creepy factor. I want to visit the parallel universe where this one got thought out a little better.

  2. Kwik says:

    awesome idea, implemented terribly… for anyone who has used a computer more than 20 minutes in their life, it loses a lot of its “maybe it could happen” factor… Love the idea, but disliked the movie outside of a few good scenes scattered through it 🙂

    • Lackey says:

      I mentioned this in my review…I watched the featurette on the DVD and there’s an interview where William Malone refers to the internet as a “neural network” and an “artificial intelligence.” He clearly has no effing clue what the internet actually is.

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