The Drudgeon reviews Vampire Boys

Vampire Boys 70 min., 2011
Written by Jeremiah Campbell/David S. Sterling
Directed by Charlie Vaughn
Language: English
My rating: ★★★

The movie that breaks a lot of vampire myths, including the one where vampires wear shirts.

* * *

The movie starts with a woman running from four guys who descend upon her and one of them bites her neck.  We then switch to a nice sunny day where Caleb (Christian Ferrer) is just getting off a bus.  You see he is moving here to get away and start new, so he found an online ad placed by Paul (Ryan Adames) who is looking for a roommate.  He meets Adam and they hit it off pretty fast.  While talking, Caleb has a “dream” about another guy and they are passionately kissing.  At the same time four guys are sun tanning when one of them sits up because he had the same “dream”.  The next day we are finally introduced to the four guys.  We have Jasin (Jason Lockhart) who is the leader (and the one that had the “dream”), Logan (Dylan Vox), the second in command and hot head, Dane (Jess Allen), the muscle man and Adam (Tanner Acord), the newest member.  Jasin approaches Caleb and asks him out on the town to which he agrees.  They hit it off and start to get close, but can Caleb handle the fact that Jasin is a vampire and wants to be with him forever (literally)?

So the acting is the main problem with the movie.  Most of the cast are just reading their lines and have no real emotion behind anything they are saying or doing.  Jason Lockhart and Christian Ferrer do have great onscreen chemistry that makes you feel that outside the movie they might actually have a relationship going on.  You can see it in Christian’s eyes because they are wide and sparkling (no it’s not a reference to Twilight) whenever he is in a scene with Jason.  Everyone else is pretty much like cardboard.  Another thing with the acting are the “straight” characters, mainly because they are played by some of the gayest men I think I’ve ever seen.  That really hurts the movie when you are supposed to believe that they are either a boyfriend or a bunch of “hicks” and they come off even more gay than the actual gay characters in the movie.

The effects are really at the bare minimum in the movie.  There are only a handful of scenes that actually use effects and most of the time you don’t really see anything because the camera turns away from them.  It’s probably really good that they did that instead of trying to add effects that would just turn out lame in the end.

The one thing that really makes this movie different than most that I’ve watched so far is that the movie is a story about gay vampires.  You can stop your giggling now, because the fact that it’s about gay characters compared to straight shouldn’t make a difference when watching.  It’s definitely a different experience watching two guys kissing passionately especially when most of us have grown up being taught or pressed into our minds that a man should ONLY kiss a woman.  But there is really no difference between the love of a straight couple or a gay couple right?  Now don’t get me wrong, in the beginning I was giggling and acting very childish, but then it hit me.  “Why is this so different?  When a man and woman are making out it’s supposed to be hot, so why can’t this be hot as well?”  After that it was pretty easy to just watch the movie and enjoy it for what it was, instead of just being a child about men kissing.

As a whole the movie is actually pretty good.  The real problem is the acting, but with that aside the story is really good.  It’s a love story with vampires tossed in.  You see, these vampires break a lot of the “rules” about vampires, but they also explain those “rules” as myths.  For one, the sun doesn’t affect them (how else could they walk around in the day with their shirts off), stakes don’t work, crosses have no effect and garlic doesn’t work.  On the other side some are still there, like having to be invited into the home, drinking blood and living forever.  Well that last one comes with a hitch, because these vampires have to find their “true love” by their 100th vampire year, or they will cease to exist, which is the focal point behind the love story and the movie in general.  If you can get over the whole gay aspect (which shouldn’t be hard if you are half an adult) of the movie you will find an entertaining movie with some pretty good qualities.  Nothing great, but just fine.  Oh, and by the way there are three full-on penis shots in the movie, so those that are offended by seeing a dick or the ones that cover their eyes and make the “that’s gross” sound (because either you’re uncomfortable with your manhood or you are actually gay and just can’t admit it) you may want to avoid this.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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One Response to The Drudgeon reviews Vampire Boys

  1. John Bruni says:

    So . . . four vampires on one chick? What would that be, a FANG RAPE? (I apologize. Ordinarily, I hate puns, but this one was so hard to resist.)

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