The Drudgeon reviews Dead 7

Dead 7aka Dead Seven
78 min., 2000
Written by Garrett Clancy
Directed by Garrett Clancy
Language: English
My rating: ★

A pretty good idea, but really poorly executed.

* * *

The movie begins with a girl, later known as Venus (Delia Copold), walking around yelling “Harley” and then she hits a stick against the ground.  While that is going on we see a car drive up and two men get out.  Brownley (Joe Myles) and his lackey, Franky (Matt Emery) take another man, who is bound, out of the car.  They take him into the forest and to an abandoned mine shaft (at least that’s what they are calling it, but it doesn’t remotely look like one), where we learn that this man stole 10,000 dollars from Brownley who is a meth cooker/dealer.  Brownley takes an axe and kills him, then he has Franky throw is body down the shaft.  In the process Franky loses his wallet down there as well.  We then meet the three ladies of the movie, including Brownley’s girl Julie (Tanya Dempsey), Franky’s girl Karen (Janet Tracey Keijser) and the “nice” girl Drusilla (Gina Zachory).  Drusilla bumps into a boy/man named Harley and they play a game of hide and seek.  You see Harley is deaf and dumb, so Venus hits the walking stick against the ground to create vibrations.  During the game Harley sees Brownley and Franky looking into the shaft and he tries to help.  Brownley doesn’t like it and pushes him down there.  With no way out and everyone gone what will Harley do now?

The biggest flaw of the movie is the acting.  The concept is pretty good, nothing great but in the right hands this could have actually been an enjoyable movie.  But the acting is so bad that everything good about the movie is just eclipsed.  Some of the worst parts are with Brownley and Franky.  Every time Brownley tries to act it’s just painful.  He has no idea what the word subtlety means and he just tries to bully his way through each scene.  On the opposite side of that is Franky who overacts as well, but most of the time he is screaming like a little girl and trying to convince us that he really is a tough guy.  Again it just doesn’t work and this shows that these aren’t even stage actors. The only one that was good…ha ha ha!  I can’t even write it with a serious face!

The effects are the only real good spot of the movie and don’t get me wrong because most of the effects are pretty shitty, but every once in a while there are some good ones.  The head of the guy who gets it lopped off is done very nicely and then we have the “undead” version of Harley that is also pretty good.  It’s nothing great but considering how bad everything else is, this is the only area where there is some enjoyment.

I think this movie is by a bunch of friends that got rejected by the theater geeks and they never got a part in any play, so they decided that they are going to make a movie and show them.  Good job guys, you showed them…complete crap and that they were right to begin with.  Big fail you guys!  I would say to keep trying and you’ll get better, but please just stop now and stay away from a camera of any kind.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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