The Drudgeon reviews Parasite

Parasiteaka Parasite 3D
85 min., 1982
Written by Alan J. Adler/Michael Shoob/Frank Levering
Directed by Charles Band
Language: English
My rating: ★★

Charles Band before Full Moon Pictures!

* * *

Sometime in the future Dr. Paul Dean (Robert Glaudini) is working on some experiment involving some leech looking things, when he is attacked from behind by a man.  In the process one of the leech things attaches itself to Paul and burrows into his stomach.  He puts the other one in a giant metal thermos and runs for the hills.  We next see him stopping a rape (that actually wasn’t rape, it just seemed that way), talking with an old man (where we find that coffee is five bucks a packet), getting gas (prices are going to be that high someday), going into a bar/restaurant and finally getting a room (not in that particular order, but it really doesn’t matter).  While at the bar we meet the local gang that is led by Ricus (Luca Bercovici) (who has an incredibly odd shaped head) and the local girl who works there, Patricia (Demi Moore).  After a little bit of time the gang ends up beating up Paul and taking his thermos, and upon opening it one of the gang members, Zeke (Tom Villard), gets the leech thing attached to his shoulder.  It turns out that Paul is actually looking for a cure to his problem and was using the other one, now on Zeke, to experiment on.  The biggest problem is that when the leech things reproduce, it’s in a giant cloud of spores, and each one will turn into a full leech thing.  It’s only a matter of time before this one lets its children loose.

As the main character Dr. Paul Dean, Robert Glaudini tries way too hard.  He conveys the stress and pain that he is going through pretty well, then he decides (or was told) to take it five steps further and that’s when it just stops working.  Demi Moore is pretty much the same, but on the opposite side.  She is okay in the beginning, but as the movie progresses she just starts to not really care about what she is doing and by the end she is reading from cue cards.  Lastly we have Luca Bercovici (again with a really odd shaped head).  He is another one that was taking this role way too serious.  If he came down about two notches, he wouldn’t have been half bad.

Being very accustomed to the effects that you get when you watch a Full Moon movie, I was expecting the same from this movie.  To my surprise the effects were actually really good (except for the laser gun that was destroyed by it getting hit with a stick).  They don’t stand up all that well by today’s standards, but they are still fun to see.  The pulsating stomach of Paul is done really well, (usually) looking very believable, and the parasite in its grown form actually looks really cool (okay maybe it does look a bit silly), especially when it bursts through Miss Daley’s face.  Now that’s a sight to behold.

This is one of those movies that you can have fun with in an MST3K way and not in a serious way.  It’s just an all-around bad movie with bad acting and cheap but fun effects.  Then again it is done by Charles Band and you should know what to expect whenever you see his name attached.  That being said, I am a huge fan of (almost) anything that Full Moon has put out, they’re cheesy and just pure fun, and this movie is really no different.  Sit back and take in the terrible, you’ll being laughing after only a few minutes.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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