The Drudgeon reviews The Beast Of Yucca Flats

The Beast Of Yucca Flatsaka The Atomic Monster – The Beast Of Yucca Flats, Girl Madness
54 min., 1961
Written by Coleman Francis
Directed by Coleman Francis
Language: English
My rating: ★

Wow this movie was great!  Once it was over.

* * *

The movie begins with a woman who has just gotten out of the shower.  After admiring herself in the mirror, she goes over to her bed where she is suddenly attacked by a man with large hands.  After seeing her get choked, we hear a voice-over explaining about the iron curtain and how a scientist named Joseph Javorsky (Tor Johnson) is getting his hands on some papers, but there are others that want the documents back.  We watch a long (very long) car chase that ends in a shoot-out in Yucca Flats.  Joseph is given the papers and motioned (yes there is very little talking excepted for the voice over) to run away.  Joseph runs (actually he walks) away and after the shoot-out, the two men that were chasing him go to their car.  At that point and time an atomic bomb goes off.  We have more voice-over, a man gets strangled, a woman is kidnapped (or wifenapped), a husband and wife lose their two kids and a shoot first ask questions later man gets in a plane to hunt down the beast.

The acting in this movie is just some of the worst that I’ve seen in a long time.  To make matters even worse, most of the dialogue (that wasn’t voice-over) was actually dubbed.  There are very few times where you actually see anyone talking, with their heads being off screen or them being out of view while they are “talking”, and that just makes it feel very sloppy.  Maybe the script wasn’t done at the point of shooting, so they didn’t even bother having anyone talk.  One of the worst instances of bad acting is when Barbara Francis’s characters’ kids run off and she shouts their names.  She makes this nasally, quiet “shout” for them and it’s just pathetic.

The effects of this movie were… wait there were no effects beside a bag of fire.  So the effects of the movie were great, because the bag was actually on fire.

It’s really hard to talk about a movie where nothing happens.  There are things going on, but really most of it is just boring or has nothing to do with the overall story.  Even when it does have to do with the story, it’s just incredibly boring.  This is a movie that is less than an hour, but it feels like it’s about three hours too long.  Now I have one question before I leave you fine people and go play in traffic.  Is Tor Johnson mentally retarded?  I don’t mean it in a nasty way, but if you look at him throughout the movie, he just has that look on his face, especially when he is running (walking) away from his pursuers; his face just has a handicapped look on it, like it does throughout the whole movie.  I’m actually not trying to be mean about it, but he just looks slow.  My hat is off to you Mr. Bruni.  This may not be the worst horror movie that I’ve ever seen, but it has, without a doubt, cracked my top ten and that is a feat of its own.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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One Response to The Drudgeon reviews The Beast Of Yucca Flats

  1. John Bruni says:

    I don’t know if I can tell you you’re welcome in good conscience. Just reading this review has reminded me of watching this horrible movie. You know when you have a wet dream, and you get a slick of cum on your lower belly, and it feels super nasty? This movie makes me feel like cum is coating my entire body. I think I need a shower.

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