The Drudgeon reviews Blubberella

Blubberella 87 min., 2011
Written by Willam Belli/Uwe Boll/Michael Christopher/Lindsay Hollister
Directed by Uwe Boll
Language: English
My rating: ★★★★

A great spoof that loses steam too fast.

* * *

Our story begins with Blubberella (Lindsay Hollister) waking up and telling us a bit about herself.  She is half human and half vampire so that makes her a dhampir.  She also tells us that she is a superhero and that she is off to kill some Nazis.  We next meet Nathaniel Gregor (Brendan Fletcher) and his (boy)friend Vadge (Willam Belli) who are both part of the resistance.  They decide to team up except that Blubberella really has no idea what is going on.  We next meet Dr. Mangler (Clint Howard) who has been experimenting on vampires that have been found around the area.  He is taken to see the Commandant who has been bitten by Blubberella and he has now acquired the powers of a dhampir.  As this is going on we learn a bit more about Blubberella’s past and how poorly her mother treated her, continually telling her how she is nothing special.  There also seems to be a bit of a love triangle going on between Nathaniel, Blubberella and Vadge, which is causing problems between Vadge and Blubberella.  Blubberella has a dream where Adolf Hitler (Uwe Boll) shows up and they spend some quality time together which causes her to wake up screaming.  Will Blubberella’s dream come true or will the resistance and Blubberella be about to defeat Hitler?

The acting in this movie is great.  Everyone brings their A game to the table and no one is a letdown.  There are two standouts that rise above everyone else.  First was Willam Belli.  Every time he was on screen and he spoke I just couldn’t help but laugh.  His delivery of the dialogue is priceless and dead on.  Especially whenever he says anything under his breath, but my favorite is anytime he calls Blubberella bitch.  It’s just fucking funny.  The other standout was Clint Howard.  I’m really not used to seeing him with such a prominent roll (except for Ice Cream Man, and if you’ve never seen it go watch it now.  Don’t finish reading the review because it’s not going anywhere.).  I’m used to seeing him in the background or only having a bit part but this movie really gives him a great role and he really seems to have a lot of fun with it.  In fact every time he is on the screen he really steals all the scenes.  He’s just great and completely underused in most movies that he’s in.

The effects are actually pretty cheesy throughout the movie, but then again with this movie being a spoof I would expect nothing less.  Some bad practical effects and some really bad CG are what you are going to get from this movie, but it fits and you can actually have fun with it and not grimace in pain when you see them.  Take them for what they are and remember the movie that you are watching and it will be fine.

The first thing I want to bring up about this movie is that it is a (as I have read having never seen the original movie) shot for shot spoof of BloodRayne 3 – The Third Reich which is also directed by Uwe Boll.  That being said you can expect what you want from this movie.  Now my only real complaint about the movie is that after about three fourths of the way through the jokes stop being original (when I say original I mean in this movie) and they just start to recycle them over and over again.  The last fourth of the movie just turns into a slog instead of a laughfest that the first three fourths were.  Other than that I really have no complaints.

The last thing I want to bring up is Uwe Boll.  Now what I really don’t understand is the hatred for Uwe Boll.  I’ve seen some of his movies and they aren’t that bad.  I’m not saying that they are great or anything like that but man there is a lot of hatred for this guy.  I’ve seen a whole lot worse from “better” directors but no one seems to call them on their shit.  This goes out to you Uwe.  Fuck what everyone else things and keep on making your movies!

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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2 Responses to The Drudgeon reviews Blubberella

  1. Lackey says:

    Now what I really don’t understand is the hatred for Uwe Boll. I’ve seen some of his movies and they aren’t that bad. I’m not saying that they are great or anything like that but man there is a lot of hatred for this guy. I’ve seen a whole lot worse from “better” directors but no one seems to call them on their shit.

    Why people hate Uwe Boll:

    0. A lot of people do seem to believe that, yes, his movies really are that bad. However, that’s a matter of opinion, so let’s move on to some objective things.

    1. He tends to work a lot in the realm of video game adaptations (House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, Postal etc.) and video game fans tend to be very sensitive, particularly when the adaptations don’t stick to the source material. (For example, if I recall correctly, BloodRayne the game takes place in the 1930s but the movie takes place in the 17th or 18th centuries.)

    2. He sues people who file-share/torrent/”pirate” his films.

    3. He was exploiting a loophole in German tax law to run a Producers-style scam for years. I’m not 100% sure of all the details, but I think how it went is that German film investors got tax rebates if their films flopped (or don’t recoup their budget), so Boll was deliberately making films with the intention of having them flop, and then collecting the rebate, thus actually making more money than he would have if the film had been moderately financially successful. The government eventually closed the loophole in 2005.

    4. The thing that does it for me: his fucking attitude. I’m not talking about challenging internet critics (or other directors such as Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay) to boxing matches–that’s just showmanship*. I’m taking about him writing a letter to the Wired reviewer who wrote a negative review of Postal, telling her to “go to [her] mum and fuck her.” I’m talking about him referring to specific critics (and again, directors…Bay and Tarantino again, Roger Avary, Eli Roth…) by name as “retards” in interviews and DVD commentary tracks. Stuff like that. Best case scenario: he’s pretending to be a royal dick who cannot take criticism to save his life so he can get attention for his movies. Worst case scenario: he actually is a royal dick who cannot take criticism to save his life. Either way, it’s massively obnoxious.

    As for my personal opinion of his work (entirely apart about how I feel about him as a human being), every film I’ve seen by him is garbage. To me, he’s one of the worst filmmakers, if not the worst filmmaker, working in his budget range ($10 to $30 million, which seems to be the low end of “big budget”). I would, personally, much rather watch a Paul W.S. Anderson or Michael Bay movie than a Uwe Boll movie, which says a lot.

    * An interesting thing: yes, he’s fought five matches. Yes, he’s won all of them. But there have been some interesting allegations. He’s been accused of offering his opponents fight training and then reneging. He’s been accused of pulling out of one match and outright blowing off another after learning that his opponent had boxing experience. The whole “Raging Boll” thing is more complex than “Uwe Boll boxed five of his critics and won every match.”

  2. John Bruni says:

    Come on, Drudgie. Be honest: you only gave this one 3 stars because you’re deathly afraid of going in the ring with Boll. Wait, he played Hitler himself? Maybe he DOES have a sense of humor . . . .

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