The Drudgeon reviews Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies

Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies 96 min., 2012
Written by Karl T. Hirsch/J. Lauren Proctor/Richard Schenkman
Directed by Richard Schenkman
Language: English
My rating: ★★★

A fun movie where the title explains everything.

* * *

The movie begins with people being chased by zombies and then we switch to a young Abraham Lincoln (Brennen Harper) out in his yard.  There is a bang from inside his house and when he goes and checks, it turns out his dad had just shot himself and his mother is chained to the wall, apparently she is a zombie.  We jump forward to the days when Lincoln is president and a soldier has come back from a fort that is held by the Confederate army.  He seems to be infected with the same thing that affected his mom.  After some talking, Abraham decides to take his new secret service, among them is John Wilkinson (Jason Vail), to the fort and get rid of the zombies, a name that was mentioned by ex-slave Wilson Brown (Jason Hughley).  They get to the fort and are attacked by some Confederate soldiers and some zombies.  They defeat some of the zombies, bar up the fort and take some of the Confederate soldiers, including General Stonewall Jackson (Don McGraw) and Garrett (Christopher Marrone), prisoner.  Lincoln decides to go to the town, scythe in hand, and take out everyone that is infected.  They get there and find Lincoln’s ex-girlfriend Mary Owens (Baby Norman) and a young Teddy Roosevelt (Canon Kuipers).  Can all of them band together and defeat the zombies or will the nation be ripped apart?

The acting in the movie is all over the place.  You have the crappy like Don McGraw and Canon Kuipers who both are just trying way too hard and failing.  You have the pretty good Wilson Brown and Mary Owens who both seem to have really good potential but fall flat throughout their performances.  Then you have the fucking awesome with Bill Oberst Jr.  He plays Abraham Lincoln with complete believability and complete conviction. Some of the best scenes are with him giving his speeches.  After the speeches and when he flips out his scythe, he just looks fucking badass.

Like the acting in the movie, the effects are great and terrible.  You have shitty CG and awesome CG (okay awesome is maybe stretching the truth a bit) that is intertwined together.  The biggest problems with the effects are when they actually use practical effects, because they are just really bad.  Most of the time it looks like they threw some jelly or jam around and then walked away.  It didn’t even feel cheesy, it just felt very lazy.

In the end this movie is just a whole lot of fun.  With a title like Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies what should you expect from this movie?  There are a bunch of scenes that are just plain fun, scenes that are really lame and scenes that are really awesome.  Bill Oberst Jr. takes the cake throughout the movie as the best, but then you have Don McGraw who makes you want to shove a golf club through your ears.  We get some great CG heads getting lopped off but then we have a bunch of jelly being tossed around.  There is a bunch of great dialogue but then we get a shit ton of terrible dialogue.  In the end the whole movie is just a giant mixed bag that can be really hard to swallow.  If you decide to watch this movie just remember the title of the movie, Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies.  In the right mindset this can be a true blast of a movie.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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2 Responses to The Drudgeon reviews Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies

  1. John Bruni says:

    The fools! Don’t they know that the Secret Service wasn’t created until a few months AFTER Lincoln was killed?!

  2. Lackey says:

    Baby Norman! That’s a name I haven’t heard in a while…

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