aka Children Of The Corn VIII
81 min., 2011
Written by Joel Soisson
Directed by Joel Soisson
My rating: ★
* * *
The movie begins in the past when a young man named Cole (J.J. Banicki) has just come home from the war and he is very happy to finally see his family. He enters the house and calls for them, but no one is answering. He ends up finding them dead and he also finds a little girl. She stabs him and causes him to fall out a window. We then jump to “somewhere in the California dessert, present day”. A couple, Tim (Tim Rock) and pregnant Allie (Kelen Coleman), are sitting in the middle of the road because their car has broken down. Tim notices some telephone poles and decides to follow them to the closest house and try to use their phone, Allie also goes with. They get to the house of a man who is called Preacher (Billy Drago) and his wife Helen (Barbara Nedeljáková). At first he says that they don’t have a phone, but after Allie throws a fit and brings up her pregnancy he decides to let them in. Tim uses the phone to call for a tow and Allie has a little chat with Preacher. Tim and Allie are forced to spend the night because the place is closed, but they are told to not go to places where they are not given permission. That doesn’t stop Allie from looking all over and finding a kid locked in a shack. Will Tim and Allie save the boy or will He Who Walks Behind The Rows finally show up?
The biggest surprise to me with this movie was Billy Drago. Most of the time when I see him in movies/TV he is way to over-the-top and he sticks out like a really sore bee-stung thumb, but this time he was the best of the bunch and played his role perfectly. He is subdued most of the time and that’s when he really shines. He comes off very creepy and you are ready for him to snap at any point in time. Barbara Nedeljáková is also really good, but she seems to be much underused. She is really good at hiding exactly what is going on and you can never really figure out the truth from here. Tim Rock is also pretty good. He won’t win any awards for his performance, but he makes his character believable and that’s a win in my book. On the opposite end is Kelen Coleman. Now I can’t say that she is a bad actor, but man I really hated her character. Then again maybe that shows her talent and if I could get over the hatred for her character I could notice that.
The effects of the movie are few and far between. You have some slashing with assorted farming implements (only in a dream) but most of those effects are only the after effects so there really isn’t much to see. Then you have the final scene that I won’t go into, but it did look pretty neat. I really don’t have that many complaints about the effects because they work and didn’t look lame.
With good acting and pretty darn good effects why did I give this movie such a low rating? What it comes down to is the two lead characters. Allie and Tim are two of the worst written character that I’ve come across in a long time. Okay let me change that. Allie is one of the worst, Tim isn’t so bad. Allie is one of those characters that you hate from the get-go, but you know that they are going to survive to the end and that just frustrates you even more. Someone doesn’t want her in their house and she throws a goddamn fit. She is told to stay in an area and she goes everywhere else. She talks a really huge game about beating the shit out of Preacher, but when she actually has a chance she just ends up crying. The best comparison I can come up with is a child. Ever rule you come up with they feel the need to test and when they are told that they can’t do something, they do it because they aren’t supposed to. Then when they get punished they yell about how mean you are even though they didn’t follow the rules. That is Allie who is supposed to be a mother soon. Holy shit they missed the ball on this one. Lastly again, just because you have a corn field and some kids at the beginning/end doesn’t make this a Children Of The Corn movie. Please just stop now!Have You Read...?