Mustang Sally’s Horror House [Reviewed by the Drudgeon]

Mustang Sally's Horror Houseaka Mustang Sally
85 min., 2006
Directed by Iren Koster
My rating: Zero Stars (The Skull)
IMDBNetflix

Why do I keep watching these terrible movies?

* * *

Before I go into my review I’m going to start off by telling you that I’m not going to put a lot of effort into this review.  Why you may ask?  Because this movie isn’t even worth a full review.  The whole movie seems to have been done very half-assed and so in return I’m going to be writing a half-assed review.  That being said, here we go.

Six friends Josh (Mark Parrish), Mike (Erik Fellows), Luke (Garrison Koch), Toby (Sonny Marler), Ryan (Al Santos) and Seamus (Sean McGene) are heading to a whore house called Mustang Sally’s that they heard about while at a local diner.  They get there after some time and meet with Mustang Sally (E.G. Daily) herself, she then introduces the girls, Caressa (Lindsey Labrum), Titiana (Joni Kempner), Tushalean (Alycen Malone), Persuasion (Tina McDowelle), Likilick (Deidre A. Cannon) and Kitten (Dana Fares).  They pair off and go their separate ways.  We are then shown about twenty minutes of making out scenes with each of the different guys and girls and the different things that they are into.  After a little more time the first death happens at the hands of Kitten.  Will any of the boys survive or will Mustang Sally get her revenge (but for what)?

The acting is just horrible in this movie and nothing more!

Read the last sentence and just replace acting with effects just multiply it by about four million!

So what can I say about this movie?  Terrible, rotten, vomit inducing, it makes me want to cry and it possibly gave me diarrhea.  The storyline is really lame and the whole twist at the end is even more lame.  That is bad enough but the worst of the worst is the effects.  In fact most of the time there are no effects even when there should be.  Someone is shot in the chest but there is no hole, or when one of the boys is cut across his shirt with a knife but the shirt doesn’t actually get cut, until the camera cuts away and then back.  Now there is a giant cut in his shirt.  Really!  But the worst effect of the whole movie involves a sickle.  All you have to do is go to the fucking dollar store and pick up one of the toy sickles that are in the kids section.  That’s exactly what they use and they don’t even try to hide it.  I can’t even explain just how something that blatantly lazy really makes me feel.  Arrrrrggggggghhhh!

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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