The Drudgeon reviews Welcome To Spring Break

Welcome To Spring Breakaka Nightmare Beach
90 min., 1988
Written by Harry Kirkpatrick/Vittorio Rambaldi
Directed by Umberto Lenzi
Language: English
My rating: ★

Standard slasher material that leaves you yawning.

* * *

We begin with a man named Diablo (Tony Bolano) getting put into an electric chair.  He shouts to a woman, Gail (Sarah Buxton) that is behind glass watching, that he didn’t kill her sister.  Reverend Bates (Lance LeGault) starts to pray for him as they pull the switch.  We then jump to two friends Skip (Nicolas De Toth) and Ronny (Rawley Valverde) as they are showing up to the beach for spring break.  Skip is the more reserved guy that is upset because he screwed up the big football game right before and Ronny is the overly horny guy that pretty much hits on anything that moves, including the bartender that happens to be Gail from the beginning of the movie.  Now right before they go to the bar, Skip and Ronny ran into a bit of trouble in the parking lot with the biker gang, The Demons who is led by Dawg (Luis Valderrama).  Officer Strycher (John Saxon) shows up and tells them to go their separate ways, but we find out that this is the gang of the late Diablo and it was Strycher who sent Diablo to the chair.  As the movie goes along we see a biker is killing some people off with his electrocuting motorcycle, or in other ways.  Has Diablo come back from the dead to get revenge or is someone exacting their own brand of justice on the spring breakers?

The acting in the movie is the standard low end slasher stuff.  Most of the acting is very cardboard and even when you have someone who is doing a good job the dialogue pretty much throws everything off.  Surprise of surprises, John Saxon is great as always but again it’s the dialogue that kills it.  He does his best with it and puts passion behind it, but it still ends up coming off as half-assed.  Nicolas De Toth and Rawley Valverde both take their characters, which are polar opposites and pretty much do nothing with them.  Then again they are pretty much just cookie cutter characters to begin with.  So even the good acting is pretty bad.

Most of the effects of the movie are pretty painful to watch, that is when they actually show something.  Most of the time you can tell that the heads being fried are rubber heads and most of the damage done to victims is also pretty obvious that it’s nothing more than an effect.

When I watch a movie there are a few things that I look for, I won’t list all of them but there are at least two that most movies should have.  First I want there to be a character that I remotely like.  Second, when there are effects I want to either cheer or cringe because it looks so painful.  This movie had neither.  I didn’t care one bit for anyone that was in the movie and even when they died I pretty much just yawned.  Nothing was entertaining about the movie and it moves at a very sluggish pace.  I kept looking at the clock and wondering how the hell only five minutes had passed, but it felt like an hour.  This is one movie that I could actually see remade and it turning out pretty fun to watch, because even though the story is pretty standard stuff it could be good if in the right hands.

Have You Read...?

About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
This entry was posted in Movies and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Drudgeon reviews Welcome To Spring Break

  1. John Bruni says:

    Dammit. I was hoping this was going to turn out to be a remake of SHOCKER.

Leave a Reply