The Chilling [Reviewed by the Drudgeon]

The Chilling91 min., 1989
Directed by Deland Nuse & Jack A. Sunseri
My rating: Zero Stars (The Skull)
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Terrible and extremely cheap looking.

* * *

The movie begins with some text talking about cryogenics and the question of the morality of it.  We then hear all about the procedure from Dr. Miller (Troy Donahue) of Universal Cryogenics.  As he is explaining what will happen, we get to see exactly what goes on behind the curtain.  The bodies are cut open, vital organs are taken out and sold to certain byers.  Then they are wrapped in a “special” tinfoil that helps to preserve the body and finally put into one of the cryogenics tubes.  We then meet the very caring Mary Hampton (Linda Blair) and the nice guy security guard, Vince Marlow (Dan Haggerty).  We also get to see the son of Joseph Davenport Sr. (Jack De Ruiex), Joseph Jr. (Ron Vincent), acting out by mistreating women and attempting to rob a bank.  In the robbery he is shot and killed so his dad decides to have him frozen as well as his late wife, because the son is just troubled.  That night a storm is brewing which causes the power to shut down.  So the security guard uses all his might to think of a solution and comes up with putting the tubes out in the rain so they can stay cold.  Lightning strikes all of them causing the people inside to come back to life and start to kill.  Can Mary and Vince stop the zombies before they die or will the zombies stop the evil cryogenics people?

The acting is just wrong in this movie.  You have the villains of the movie; i.e. the doctor, the workers and the troubled youth, being the most cliché that I’ve ever seen.  From having the troubled youth pretty much rape his girl, cut his “friend’s” throat and then go a rob a bank (in fucking broad daylight), sorry but it’s like they read some book about troubled youth and decided that this is exactly what they must be like without actually checking.  The “heroes” are just as bland, but what else can you expect.  The dialogue is also just plain lame.  You have two characters stop in the middle of “killing” zombies to have a brief chit-chat about what is going on and how wrong it is.  Bad, just plain bad and I won’t even go into my anger for the dead bodies (no not the zombies, but supposedly dead people) who are still breathing and moving their eyes.

Now the effects are just as bad as the acting, all around lame.  You see I think they wrapped the bodies in that special tinfoil just so they didn’t have to actually do any effects beside the zombie heads, hands and feet.  Even with them only having to do that little it was still pretty terrible.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are a few (just a few) shots of the zombies with their faces “melting” that are pretty good, but other than that the effects just felt very lazy.  But let’s not forget about the make-up of the zombie Joseph Jr.  While everyone else is “melting” he is perfectly fine except for a few patches of ice(?).  LAZY!!!!

It goes as far as having “We ask you…would God approve; or is this Satan’s work”.  Really?  In this piece of shit movie they are trying to get the point across that cryogenics is wrong because this could actually happen.  Arghh!  One other problem I have is with some of the major plot points.  You see this is all taking place the day before Halloween.  They make a point to bring that up about a dozen times, so my question is this.  Who the hell goes trick or treating on the night before Halloween?  That just doesn’t make any sense.  In fact the whole movie just doesn’t make any sense.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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