The Drudgeon reviews Evil Bong

Evil Bong 86 min., 2006
Written by Charles Band/August White
Directed by Charles Band
Language: English
My rating: ★★★★

It’s like a Full Moon ‘gasm!

* * *

The movie begins with a geeky guy named Alister (David Weidoff) going to a place to rent a room.  He meets Larnell (John Patrick Jordan) who, at first, thinks that Alister is a narc but once he realizes that he is just looking for a place to rent readily accepts him.  Alister is then introduced to the rest of his new roommates, surfer Bachman (Mitch Eakins) and baseball player (well ex-player) Brett (Brian Lloyd).  Alister soon learns that these three guys are stoners, in a big way.  After they (not including Alister) get high a few times we are introduced to Brett’s girlfriend, Luann (Robin Sydney), and her friend Janet (Kristyn Green) who seems to like Alister.  A little later Larnell decides to buy a bong that he has been saving up for, but the problem is that it is supposed to be haunted.  He gets it anyway and that’s when the trouble begins.  After smoking from the bong (who we find out is named Eebee (voiced by Michelle Mais)) Bachman is sucked into what is called Bong World.  While there he bumps into Oogy Booga (from the movie Doll Graveyard) and then he meets Ivan Burroughs (Phil Fondacaro from Full Moon’s Decadent Evil).  After a little time of watching strippers, Bachman is then killed by one and because of this he dies in the real world.  While Alister, Larnell and Brett try to figure out what killed Bachman will Eebee kill again or will the mysterious Jimbo Leary (Tommy Chong) have all the answers?

Considering that this is a Full Moon movie, as with most, I wasn’t expecting much in the acting department.  Don’t get me wrong in thinking that I’m saying that they are terrible.  It’s just most of the time they ham it up and they don’t come off as great actors.  Then again that is one reason why I love Full Moon movies.  I can just enjoy the crazy and bizarre stories for what they are and the acting fits in with the same feel.  This movie is no different.  David Weidoff plays the intelligent, geeky type really well and when he is supposed to look uncomfortable, he pulls it off.  Robin Sydney is another one that does a great job.  Her character is the bitchy type and she seems to have no problem getting that across.  Then it comes to her “I’m horny dance” and holy shit do I just lose it.  It’s funny as hell and even if you aren’t into Full Moon movies, her “dance” is so worth it to watch, especially once the pogo stick comes out.

A lot like the acting there is a certain level that I expect from a Full Moon movie in the effects department.  Cheesy, and do I love cheesy.  There is one thing that I do want to say about Full Moon and their effects as cheesy as they may be.  There are a lot of times where I’m watching one of their movies and an effect comes up that blows me away.  The cheese flies in the effects department but there are also a bunch of effects that are completely innovative and surprise you because of their inventiveness.  This is a movie that really doesn’t push the boundaries of effects and pretty much sticks to the conventional Full Moon vibe of effects and that really kinda sucked, but at the same time their effects are still a lot of fun to watch.

The premise of the movie is pretty simple, smoke some pot from Eebee, get sucked into the bong world, meet some past Full Moon characters and then die.  It’s pretty by-the-numbers and I can see a bunch of people not enjoying that, but if you are a Full Moon fan than you will have a blast.  There are appearances from a bunch of Full Moon characters, including Oogy Booga, Ivan Burroughs, Jack Deth (Tim Thomerson), Jack Attack and the Gingerdead Man.  Then there is also an appearance by Bill Moseley and Brandi Cunningham (who I had no I idea who she was until Jori told me).  These characters are enough to bring any Full Moon fan to the movie, but that is only part of it because the movie itself is actually a lot of fun and the character Eebee I can see becoming a regular.  It’s a Full Moon movie and that’s exactly what you should expect, fun, crazy, bizarre and some really oddball ideas, but most of all pure fun.  Let’s just hope that Evil Bong 2 – King Bong is just as much fun.

Favorite Line:

Cyril (Jacob Witkin) to his grandson Larnell:  “I only hope that one day convicts will feast upon your scrotum sac.”

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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