Day Of The Dead [Movie review by the Drudgeon]

Day Of The Dead87 min., 2008
Directed by Steve Miner
My rating: Zero Stars (The Skull)
IMDBNetflix

Should be Day Of The Really Bad Zombie Movie!

* * *

So the characters in this movie are some of the worst that I’ve seen in some time.  You have the “hero” Sarah (Mena Suvari).  The hard core female character who is so bad ass that she doesn’t have bullets in her gun (it’s complicated, so she says), but still shows her very sensitive side by not hitting the zombies because they are still “someone”.  Sarah’s brother Trevor (Michael Welch), the guy that cares only about himself and his girlfriend.  Salazar (Nick Cannon), the completely new black guy cliché, of I’m the bad ass that always has to have a witty line and has to bring up the fact that he is black (at least twice, because we must have forgotten) all the fucking time.  We also have Dr. Logan (Matt Rippy) the sneaky scientist that can never be trusted and you know is hiding more that he lets on.  Then there is Captain Rhodes (Ving Rhames) who only has a small part in the movie but he’s probably the best, being the hard military leader that can fight and still thinks about his men/women (generic character, but played very well by Rhames).  Lastly we have Nina (AnnaLynne McCord) as the girlfriend that just whimpers and hides.  By the time she grows a pair, it’s just not worth it.  Then toss in a fat DJ, a few other family members, and Bud.  Yep, they put in a character named Bud.  I understand why (if you don’t, then you should watch the original), but they decided to make him a vegetarian (yes it’s a point they bring up), because he seems to not want to eat anyone.  Are they telling me that if this zombie apocalypse comes, I should surround my self with vegans?  No thank you.

The effects in this movie are just terrible.  It was made in 2008 and they look like they are from a bad video game form the late 90′s.  You have big names and a big budget, so why such bad effects.  Maybe they paid so much for all the names and forgot about making good effects.  Maybe they just didn’t care and thought that people would just see some zombies and be blinded by fast cuts that no one would notice.  Too bad that I did and I have a space to bitch about it.

Now zombies come in all shapes and sizes.  From the original film zombies (White Zombie), the later take on zombies (Night Of The Living Dead) and the new not zombies but still zombies (28 Days Later).  So where does the Day Of The Dead remake fall?  I thought it would fall into the category of the Romero movies it was based on.  How wrong was I?  The way this one works out is that it is an airborne virus that only effects most people, but some are immune.  So the dead do not rise to feast on the living, it’s the living that gets sick and attacks the living.  So unlike the original, which was about death not being the end, this one states that getting sick makes your skin bad, have strange cravings, have super jumping abilities, the ability to climb on walls and run like a retarded person.  Okay??

I grew up with the slow moving zombies, but that by no means does that mean that I don’t like a fast moving zombies running up on some stupid person and biting the hell out of them.  But the zombies in this movie aren’t just fast moving, they are consistently on FAST FORWARD, and that just looks stupid.  I really think, every time they had a zombie on screen, they just pressed fast forward.  The other thing about these zombies that is just a really dumb move is that they have super powers.  No joke, SUPER POWERS!!!!  Extreme jumping (to the point it felt like they were flying) and wall and ceiling climbing.  They were jumping around like fucking spider monkeys.  This may be the next evolution of zombies, but shit, I hope not.

To sum it up, complete crap.  Nothing of value you here, not even any good gore scenes.  Just a lot of “action” scenes with terrible CGI and stupid one liners delivered from very bad actors.  Run away, no wait Fast Forward Run away from this movie.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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4 Responses to Day Of The Dead [Movie review by the Drudgeon]

  1. John Bruni says:

    *sigh* So I take it this means you’ll be reviewing DAY OF THE DEAD 2: CONTAGIUM? If this didn’t hurt you more than me, I’d be pissed off.

    • Lackey says:

      Contagium is a sequel to the original Day Of The Dead, not the remake. (It was made in 2005.) Since I reviewed the original, the sequel is mine (as Epidemic will be, if they ever end up making the damn thing).

  2. The Drudgeon says:

    John, I will review what ever you want me two. Even though I know that it’s not the sequel to the remake I was still thinking about reviewing it anyways. Just get ready for one of my upcoming movies that I will be revealing on the next podcast. Holy crap I have a bad feeling about it. Then again I’ve been wrong before.

    • Lackey says:

      Well, crap…there goes my plan for ensuring we never run a review of Contagium (by “claiming” it without ever intending to actually watch or write about it). Damn you! *shakes fist*

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