War Wolves

War Wolves [Movie review by the Drudgeon]

War Wolves105 min., 2009
Directed by Michael Worth
My rating: Zero Stars (The Skull)
IMDB

Do you remember when…movies were actually good?

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We begin the movie somewhere in the Middle East.  There are six marines playing football, three female, Erika (Natasha Alam), Justine (Kristi Clainos) and Casey (Siri Baruc) and three male, Jake (Michael Worth), Andrew (Alex Ballar) and Clay (Dan Southworth).  It seems that Jake and Erika are a couple and that Clay and Andrew are old friends of Jake.  We jump to them in the middle of combat and Erika has been wounded.  Suddenly two men that are acting like beasts appear and start attacking them, as four of them are holed up in a building.  We then jump six months in the future and Jake is now using the name Andrew and is going to AA meeting with the help of a woman named Gail (Adrienne Barbeau).  All isn’t going well because of something that happened back then.  We next meet two men that are hunting down the six of them, Tony Ford (John Saxon) and Frank Bergman (Tim Thomerson).  You see the six of them that were attacked are now infected with something that is making them into wolves, kinda like werewolves.  Can Tony and Frank kill them or will Erika turn Jake to her side?

The biggest surprise to me about the movie is with the acting.  I was expecting John Saxon to be the star and leave everyone in his dust, but he was actually one of the worst.  This movie really shows that his age has gotten to him (or that he thought this movie was a piece of shit) because he couldn’t pull off any dialogue with any believability.  The other surprise came from Dan Southworth.  I was expecting nothing from the rest of the cast (except Tim Thomerson) but Dan Southworth really shocked me with how good he actually was.  His character was really the only one that had any real presence.  Every time he was one scene he just stole the whole movie.  The one that that didn’t surprise me was Tim Thomerson.  He is great as usual, but he is still outshined by Dan Southworth.

The effects of this movie were terrible.  End of story.

There are very few good things that I can say about this movie.  There are so many flaws and things that just don’t make any since, it isn’t even funny.  It’s really more painful than anything else, I mean there are bullets that pass through people!  This movie also does something that I’ve always hated.  It takes one character and makes them the most important person in the movie.  Kinda like Buffy is the chosen one, Jake is the chosen one of this movie.  So we have the character of Erika trying to get Jake to join, all the while Casey and Justine are saying it’s pointless, and as usual they are right.  I hate anytime there is a chosen one and this one does it very painfully.  Lastly we have Michael Worth.  He is the writer and director and the fucking main star (the chosen one, the most important).  Does this guy really think he’s that great?  I really can’t think of many directors that actually do that.  There’s really only one, Kevin Smith, but his character wasn’t center stage until the fifth movie.  I just have this feeling that Michael Worth thinks he is awesome and he really wanted to walk around with a shirt on for a while.  He was terrible!  Both in front and behind the camera.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?

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