The Drudgeon reviews Legend Of The Chupacabra

Legend Of The Chupacabra 81 min., 2000
Written by Rudy Balli/Mark Stephens
Directed by Joe Castro
Language: English
My rating: ★

Take one part Blair Witch Project and one part man in a rubber suit, and poof!

* * *

We begin with some people talking about the legend of the Chupacabra.  We then meet a group of students from the University Of Rio Grande Valley, School Of Cryptography.  We have the leader Maria Esperanza (Katsy Joiner), camera man one Cortez (J.T. Trevino), camera man two Webster (Chris Doughton) and their ex-marine “bodyguard” Armistad (Stan McKinney) and they are heading to Santa Maria, Texas where at least a hundred goats have been killed and Maria’s uncle was also killed.  They get to a ranch that is owned by a man named Jackson (Paul Podraza) and he has been dealing with what everyone claims to be the Chupacabra.  The crew starts their documentary and while they are filming a goat that was killed the night before, they are told to not touch it until the carcass has been blessed.  Just then a woman called the Curandera (Sandy Schwartz) shows up and blesses the corpse.  She hears something coming from the barn and as her and a camera man approaches she is attacked by a giant beast, then everyone runs in and we get a pretty good look at the monster that kills another person.  Can they find a way to stop the Chupacabra or will they all die?

The acting in the movie is the biggest flaw.  I understand that it’s supposed to be come off as they aren’t acting, but holy shit these guys can’t act.  Stan McKinney just over does it with every line he delivers and Chris Doughton goes beyond annoying with his acting (and yes I do realize that he is supposed to be annoying), but the worst of the bunch would have to be Katsy Joiner.  Every line, every action and every facial expression is just painful to watch.

Now the effects of the movie are pretty much what you should expect.  They are pretty bad but at the same time they are very entertaining, especially the Chupacabra itself.  There are a few scenes where the effects (as bad as they are) are just a blast to see, with my favorite being when Armistad gets his insides ripped out through his mouth.  Terrible but fun.

So the acting is bad and the effects are pretty silly, but what really kills this movie for me is the overall story and undercurrent of government conspiracies.  The character of Maria is just an annoying bitch that wants what she wants and it doesn’t matter how many people have to die to get it.  Then we end up meeting these two “witches” and that’s when the movie really hits a big fucking steel wall.  Their acting actually makes Katsy Joiner look like gold.  Then their story is just as stupid as their acting.  Avoid unless you plan on getting drunk and vomiting on the DVD itself.

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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