The Drudgeon reviews Curse Of The Cannibal Confederates

Curse Of The Cannibal Confederatesaka The Curse Of The Screaming Dead
91 min., 1982
Written by Tony Malanowski
Directed by Lon Huber/Tony Stark
Language: English
My rating: ★

I really don’t know what to say about this movie.

* * *

We begin with a bunch of “confederates” rising from graves in really bad makeup.  We then switch to three guys, Mel (Christopher Gummer), Wyatt (Steve Sandkuhler) and Bill (Jim Ball), in the “front” of a RV talking about stuff.  Then we meet their women, Sarah (Rebecca Bach), Lin (Judy Dixon) and Kiyomi (Mimi Ishikawa), in the back.  You see they are going camping/hunting but the girls really don’t want to.  They get where they are going and as they look around one of them, Mel, finds a box that has a confederate flag and a diary in it.  He takes the diary and goes about his business, not telling the others.  As the night goes along the zombies start to go after them and they are forced to fight back.  Will they survive or will they be eaten?  Does anyone really care?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!  Acting?  I don’t think so.  Everyone was just bad but the worst of the worst had to be a tie between Christopher Gummer who overacts beyond everything that I’ve ever seen, oh wait we have Mimi Ishikawa who actually puts Mr. Gummer’s acting on a golden pedestal.  Everything this woman does is just too much.

Same as the last paragraph, effects?  Where?  We have zombies ripping “organs” out of a body, but they don’t even try and hide the fact that there isn’t any hole to get said “organs” out of.  But on the other hand the exploding zombies (our “heroes” had exploding bullets) are fun to see, I guess.

Could I suggest this movie to anyone?  Yes!  I would suggest this movie to everyone.  I mean EVERYONE!  This movie would be a good PSA on how to not make a movie.  Everything about this is just wrong, the acting, effects, lighting, sound, dialogue, etc.  Then again I was laughing throughout most of the movie so I guess that’s a win…

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About The Drudgeon

I don't remember my real name or where I came from. All I know is that I'm traped in an underground cave with nothing but a TV, DVD player and a notebook and pen. They keep calling me The Drudgeon, I don't even know what that means. Someone keeps dropping horror movies in and yelling at me to watch them and write about what I watch. Then I eat the DVD and case, because they tell me if I consume the horror I will understand the horror. I think there are three of them. So if you are reading this right now, HELP ME!!!!!!! OUCH!!!! Someone just poked me with a sea urchin attacked to a pool cue, what the fuck is going on?
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