88 min., 2009
Written by Ace Hannah
Directed by Ace Hannah
My rating: ★
A real let down.
* * *
So there are things happening in the movie that involved characters. You have Emma MacNeil (Deborah Gibson), Allan Baxter (Lorenzo Lamas), Dr. Seiji Shimada (Vic Chao), Dick Richie (Mark Hengst) and Lamar Sanders (Sean Lawlor). So it starts with some of them following whales and finding a giant block of ice with the title Mega Shark and Giant Octopus. The block cracks and they are free to spread panic across the water…kinda. So everyone is trying to stop them from killing people and destroying things and they have the great idea to make them fight each other because that is what they were doing before they were frozen. So they get them together finally (taking almost the whole movie) and they duke it out. The end.
So I can go on about the poor acting and yes I’m talking about everyone in the movie. I can bitch and moan about the extremely terrible dialogue that was vomited from everyone’s mouths. I can cry about the over the top terrible “special” effects of the movie that made me want to cut my wrists with the broken DVD. But instead of any more of those complaints coming out of my mouth (except for a bit more about the effects) I’m just going to “talk” about the actual fight between the Mega Shark and the Giant Octopus.
Now as everyone knows (at least if you have been reading my reviews) I am a huge fan of giant monster movies. My favorites are still the Godzilla films but I even love giant monster movies that don’t have the king in them. To name a few that I love, we have Rodan, The Black Scorpion, The Beast Form 20,000 Fathoms, Gorgo, The Gamera movies, King Kong, Eight Legged Freaks, The Host and the list goes on. So when there are movies (even if they are by Syfy and The Asylum) that have giant monster and beast killing people or fighting each other I am usually excited about them. Yes I have been let down by some, but in the end I still get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside when I see a title like Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. I do lower my expectations when I end up watching them and I usually have a blast but this movie was a complete let down.
As I said I love Godzilla films so I am a fan of cheesy effects and can look past them especially during a giant monster movie. But these effects were just pathetic. There really didn’t seem to be any effort put into them. I know that CG is the big thing and hell it’s actually a lot more simple and cheap to do, but in the end it doesn’t have that “physical” fell to it. Yes men in rubber suits aren’t the most believable in the world, but when one of them punches another, you can actually see the suit being hit. In CG heavy movies you never really get that feel of an actual punch (or in this case bite) making contact. I really miss those days (and yes I know I sound like a really old man right now).
As for the fight between the two monsters? It was just pathetic. Everything about the “fight” was just sad. It takes forever to get to them actually fighting and it’s over before it really begins. With a title of Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus I was expecting a lot more of them going at it, and sadly it was more about everyone and everything else and they were more for background.Have You Read...?