96 min., 2007
Written by Kim Bass
Directed by Kim Bass
My rating: ★★
I’m sending up the Bat-signal to the bitch from hell.
* * *
A spring break hoe-down goes awry when one of the chicks turns out to be a demon.
Well ladies and gentz, we have come together again for another installment in the land of Forced Viewing. I can only really say I picked this movie because I was scrolling through the Netflix queue and the movie art caught my eye. Something tells me that I should have listened to the adage never judge a video by its jacket art….. anywho… here we go.
This movie is on the B- list for a reason. I mean the star power they managed to dig up on this was Gary Busey, which is a pretty funny guy but honestly he is only in this film for all of five minutes. If five minutes of semi-comic relief from Gary Busey is the most you have to look forward to in a movie you know you are barking up the wrong tree. The succubus Lilith is played by Natalie Denise Sperl, who has a myriad of things to her credit but none of it is noteworthy. I will say that she does what she is meant to do here, which is play the creepy, sexy, jilted succubus lover bent on revenge. The “protagonist” in this film is R.L. Mann. Now, I know none of you have heard of this schmuck and I checked him out on IMdb and this guy hasn’t done anything since, and judging from his performance I can see why. (Coughs “Lame ass!”)
So, here is the story in a nutshell. Adam is a test pilot following in his rich, privileged daddy’s footsteps. He is 21 years old and has the libido to match. After besting his father in a friendly flying competition, he wins the use of his father’s private jet where he and his equally libidinous best friend fly to Cancun for some spring break poontang complete with the camera to record it all for posterity. While comparing notes on how much tang each has scored so far, in walks Lilith looking pale and hot in the Mexican sun (sounds like a good name for a porno, right?) Adam immediately turns on the cocky charm (pun intended) and Lilith makes it clear she isn’t impressed but is willing to give him some anyway. After a night of (recorded) steaminess ensues, Adam dips out to head back home without even saying goodbye.
Adam gets home and is about to get some nookie from his girlfriend for giving her a diamond bracelet, but when he takes his shirt off the evidence in the form of bite marks, bruises, and scratches all over his body sees her stomping out in anger instead. He decides to throw a wild house party to “drown” his sorrows and Lilith makes her appearance, scaring off a pair of blonds who were “doing him first.” Lilith screws his brains out, scares him half to death, then pulls a disappearing act right out of his bathroom.
Things start getting much worse for Adam when his girlfriend returns to reclaim her diamond bracelet and to let him make up with her. Lilith spies on them, gets jealous and kills the girlfriend by breaking a bottle over her head and drowning her in his pool. He is upstairs sound asleep through all of this naturally. All the evidence points to him and of course dad makes a call and the lawyers gets him temporarily out of trouble before he is even booked. It really goes downhill from there and Lilith stalks him all over making him a nervous wreck. She kills his best friend and Adam calls a demon hunter he finds online for help. Enter the highlight of the movie, Gary Busey. He gives him a bunch of advice, a scroll with some instructions, a cheap looking plastic amulet, and some interesting weapons. Then he rides off into the sunset in a fucking bad-assed truck with an even more bad assed sword sitting on his front seat.
Adam follows the instructions on the scroll only to find out that the ritual he was supposed to be attempting only had power on the night of the full moon, which it wasn’t. Lilith shows up anyway and proved that none of the preparations mean anything and she toys with him while he goes through his arsenal of weapons trying to off the succubus. At the last possible second, he pulls out the cheap plastic amulet, she recoils he stabs her with a decorative metal sword through the heart. There is the requisite shrieking and once again he is trying to explain the body count in his house to the cops. They aren’t buying his succubus story at all and into the cop car he goes. So, basically his life is over and so is the movie.
Now, I had already previously stated this is a B-list movie. It clearly had all the hallmarks of a steamer (not quite Cleveland level.) B list (or lower) actors, plot inconsistencies, occasionally odd camera work, weird use of special effects… yup it’s all there. The movie ends with a guy from the coroners office once again deciding to let his necrophiliac tendencies show (he kissed the dead girlfriend earlier in the movie) and tries to kiss the dead Lilith, only she isn’t dead and moves to choke him out instead. I have NO CLUE why they felt the need to add that bit of oddness in there but honestly, his actions were far creepier than anything else in the movie. They should do a story about him. He obviously was into dead pretty girls since his odd line of work (a coroner,) strange looks (he was a bit weird looking,) and even creepier disposition ensures he was not going to have any luck with living ones.
Overall, they tried to put together a good movie. And they failed. The pieces were all there, and I think with some better acting it could have worked. So I will say this. Perhaps if you are drunk, or high, this movie….. nah. There are other movies out there that fit that criteria so much better. Watch it you want, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.Have You Read...?