86 min., 1974
Directed by Bob Hollowich
My rating: ★
Oh dear God. There is an ape rape scene.
* * *
Here we have another awful example of ‘Seventies horror porn. “She’ll suck more than your blood,” is the tag line, and sure enough, it’s true. It’s too bad that just about everything about this movie is boring, and the sex scenes are too long.
It has its moments. There is a scene in which the Ben Stokes-looking dude tries a bit of sleep rape when he is stopped by a giant ape. (Don’t worry, PETA. It wasn’t a real ape. It was a guy in an ape suit.) That same ape later gets the chance to fuck one of the girls. There is no penetration, but it’s a pretty funny scene. It’s the kind of thing Ed Wood would have probably jerked off to.
There is also a pretty funny fellatio scene at a wedding that turns into an orgy. There is also a bit of cock-biting. Nothing like you might see online today, but still. My favorite part is the woman who has a machine that translates her thoughts so she can speak with people. That’s pretty awesome.
I just couldn’t get past a lot of it. The score sounds like awful ‘Seventies Muzak. There are sex scenes that occur on the cellar floor, and I’m pretty sure that would be uncomfortably cold and gritty. The FrankenDude reminds me too much of actor Lucas Neff. He’s obviously more interested in the horsies than the lesbian sex that he’s watching.
Oddly, there are no moneyshots.
I would not recommend this one, not even for masturbatory purposes. Not even for novelty purposes. And really, that title is clunky. It just doesn’t feel right on the tongue.Have You Read...?